Hi! I’m Vilissa Thompson, a woman who wears many hats & goes by many titles. If you’re new here, I’m a: macro social worker, writer, speaker, consultant, and Founder of Ramp Your Voice! I’m also a visionary, creative, and currently establishing the second act of my career with new and exciting projects.
I created this newsletter so that followers and friends (both old and new) can have a closer view of who I am, my thoughts, and what I’m working on that should be on your radar.
Photo of a Black woman with her hair parted and hanging down straight. She is smiling and facing the camera sideways in her wheelchair. She is outside under the tree branches while wearing a white and black dress.
Patron Saint of Boundaries
Figuring out which parts of the “past” you can co-exist with the “current” you.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve had to have some difficult conversations with people about their performances on various projects. I had a lot of feelings surrounding each incident, and had to take stock in how current me versus past me would’ve handled such confrontations.
I appreciated that I came into these hard conversations with a more open mind and heart. However… I miss the version of me who said what was on her mind, and dealt with the consequences later. That version was a bit dramatic, but there is a fiery aspect that I miss.
I’ve heard all of my life that getting older makes you softer, and for me… it has made me softer around the edges. Do I like that? Nah. LOL. BUT… what I do like is that instead of being a dramatic girlie when frustrating moments happen, I use those elements of anger to get centered on how I want to show up when conflict has to take place.
Hootin’ and hollerin’ isn’t the way for me at this age - honey, I’m 40, I’m not raising my blood pressure up because you are acting and looking unfamiliar. Instead, I’m going to tell you about what the issue(s) is in a manner that allows me to speak my truth AND still handle you with dignity. (Even if I could care less while I’m processing things @ dignity.)
Trying to merge both versions of the self in this manner is interesting because it’s like having the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. But for this, it’s the old me vs. the current me, and present me having to decide how to satisfy both while being in the moment.
I showed up in ways where the maturer side shone through, but I’ll be honest - I wanted to curse. Badly. And that’s my truth. I will say, an unexpected superpower by not hootin’ and hollerin’ is learning how to curse people out WITHOUT saying a curse word. Sometimes you don’t need the “colorful” language to let someone know they’ve messed up and you’re sick of their shit. The way you say it sans the colorful words allows the person to know that colorful words are implied.
So I guess this month’s Patron Saint of Boundaries moment is - it’s okay to grow out of old behaviors and tactics of handling things because you have better insight and tools in your toolbox. And… it’s okay to miss that version of you who could get rowdy… but do know - that rowdy nature isn’t too far in case you need to do an “in case of an emergency, break glass” moment.
Rowdy me can get activated - don’t get it twisted. I just selectively choose to do so when it is the last resort… See, duality. LOL.
Unapologetically HER:
A D’Angelo Tribute
As someone who loves music, losing one of the pioneers of music this month has been a shock to the system. D’Angelo was everything we could ask for from a musician - soulful, intentional with his craft, storytelling ability is outerworldly, can play several instruments well, and hella easy on the eyes. His presence in music marked the ushering in of Neo-Soul, which I am blessed to have grown up listening to as a youth.
Taking the time to revisit his discography is a time capsule of remembering the music of the mid-90s onward, and how it shaped how love and Blackness meant so much to both the artists and fans of the sounds from that era.
It’s true what they say - the music from our adolescence and young adulthood years are what we yearn for as we age. The transportation from 1995 to 2010 is instant for me when I hear one of these jams.
As the weather cools and we long for coziness, tap back into the music that made you feel alive, the soundtrack of a simpler time. That’s how I’m honoring the gifts D’Angelo left us as we celebrate his legacy and life.
My Faves!!
These are a few of my favorite things…
Speaking of coziness, it’s “curling up on the couch with a good read” season. I realized I read the most when the weather gets cooler and darker outside sooner.
One of the things I love is a book sleeve that I can store my Kindle or paperback in. I have a few of them that I swap out based on mood, and can use for other items like notebooks and tech.
I typically get mine from the brand Book Beau, but you can find many sizes and patterns from shops on Etsy and online sellers like Amazon. Having something cute to carry your book in is something I never thought I’d like, but glad I discovered that I do.
Take Action
I have some incredibly talented friends, and plan to spotlight their work and greatness with my subscribers.
Stephanie Williams is carving out her own lane in the comic book writing sphere, and has developed her first creator own series, Roots in Madness, that debut this month.
Of course, I had to support my girl by getting a copy, and if you want a great Fall read for the season, I’m giving you a light nudge to do the same.
Get your copy of Roots in Madness on the Ignition Press site. Support Black women in comics - period!
Pictured is Stephanie Williams, a Black Woman smiling wearing a Black & Red Shirt & conference lanyard with long curly hair holding up a peace sign with both hands, in front of a yellow step & repeat banner.
Cover of Roots of Madness Comic book. It features a Black woman with braids and Afro puffs, wearing a green shirt with a double collar. She sits at a table that has a mortar and pestle, holding a circular object up to her left eye.
Until Next Time…
Spooky season always brings out the kid in me in figuring out what kind of candy to buy myself at the store. By embracing my witchy side, celebrating the thinning of the veil and connecting to my ancestors are new practices for me during this season.
Whether you’re rummaging through the sea of candy, doing your own spiritual rituals, or dodging Trick or Treaters - let this Halloween season be good to you.